Heartfelt

“It is in your hands, to make a better world for all who live in it.”

- Nelson Mandela

As we continue to navigate and live in a world of war, I continue to find myself deeply immersed in feelings of guilt, helplessness, and anger. Guilt because of the wonderful life that I have been afforded, helplessness because I can‘t do anything to stop what’s going on, and anger because why do I live in a world so evil? It’s been two weeks since the horrific and atrocious terrorist attack in Israel on 10/7 and it gets worse and worse as the days pass. As of today:

If these numbers do not make you sick to your stomach, then I guess you just wont be sick to your stomach. I have become succumbed to the daily feelings of sadness that drenches me, every time these numbers rise. The more that I am entrenched into this sadness, the more that I get the feeling to intentionally take the spaces to take a stand for justice. I have come across so many interviews and videos this week, capturing the voices of both Israel and Palestinian journalists. Piers Morgan (who I am not usually a fan of) dedicated his show, “Uncensored”, these last two weeks to journalists/spokespersons for both sides. My favorite speaker of the two weeks has hands down been Bassem Youssef whom used a satirical and dark comedy approach to what he believed was Israel’s approach to defending itself and the price that the Palestinian civilians have to pay because of it.

What seems to be clear as day to me is that innocent lives of an already oppressed community, which has been called “human-animals’ by its opposing force, needs more help than ever to survive this devastating event that they are attempting to live through. I say this to say, I stand hardly against the perpetuation that because I stand with the Palestinian cause, that would suggest that I support Hamas, Terrorism, or the death of Israeli’s/Jews. The word “Gaslighted” has been being used often amongst the voices of those opposed to the occupation of Palestine by Israel and its apartheid state. It feels like I am being gaslighted in the sentiment that It seems that I should be questioning the feelings that I have for the war crimes that I am witnessing being committed, that I should deny that I even believe that innocent civilians don’t deserve to lose their lives, and to even accept the countering of my knowledge about this event based off of the facts that I know. This has turned into a show of Palestinian supporters constantly having to condemn the acts that took place on Oct. 7th, constantly having to condemn that they don’t support terrorism, and constantly having to defend that they would never want Jewish/Israeli people to be in harm as well. HOW TIRING!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I’ve finally realized why the people who stay quiet when things like this happen, don’t take a stance, even if they want to. And when they do, they pick the most politically correct stance. But once they do take any stand, specific to a situation like this, then it means to those watching that they are absolutely standing against all things that the opposing side is standing for. Confusing, right?

I condemn all violence, I condemn all acts of terrorism, I condemn all acts of oppression, I condemn all hate crimes, and I condemn many, many, many more things I’m sure. I would hate to be associated with any type of idea that I would be calling for the violence or death of anyone. And it aggravates me because those are the things that oppressors voices claim against this type of humanitarian issue. I can’t imagine what it feels like to be in the Jewish/Israeli community right now. After their friends, families, loved ones, or people alike have been harmed in one of the most barbaric attacks on their community since the Holocaust. This could undoubtably bring up feelings of anger, PTSD, maybe wanting revenge because of the HAMAS attack, and deep feelings of sadness as well. And with my deepest sympathies, I feel for them. This has nothing to do with how most of us feel about Israeli’s leaders and their government as it is a separate entity, to me at least. If there are Israeli/Jewish people whom identify their entire existence with their government then I guess it isn’t a separate entity for that particular situation. I don’t personally understand it but I will not touch on it any further. At the SAME TIME, I cannot imagine what it feels like to be in the Palestinian community right now. After their friends, families, and loved ones have been harmed and continue to in devastating numbers. They are hardly a powerful force like Israel, they do not receive billions of dollars in funding for their people and military, they do not have freedom amongst their own homelands, and literally have not had any powerful force but the voice of human beings, standing aside them. And with my deepest sympathies, I feel for them.

Visiting South Africa this summer has helped me to put a lot of what I am currently seeing, into my own perspective. Visiting the home that Nelson Mandela had shared with his ex-wife, learning more about his world renown legacy, and visiting the apartheid museum was an experience that put me into a space of deep thought and introspect. A man whom was once labeled by the U.S govt as a terrorist until 2008, along with his organization “the African National Congress”, because of their ongoing influence and attempts to overthrow the acts of an Apartheid ruling government in South Africa. To know that he was labeled this while standing for a cause regarding equality and freedom, is how I know all too well that things aren’t always what the media portrays. This is why it is important to me to always engage in verified research or news sources, distinguish if the research/news favors a independent/right/left point of view, and then use my own critical thinking/judgement/personal experiences to make my conclusions.

To wrap this up, I had attended my friends gender reveal this weekend and checked in with my friends husband whom has close friends out in Tel Aviv, Israel. I had met them at the wedding this summer and wanted to know how they were holding up with the events and if they were affected. In the conversation, he mentioned that he had been off social media because he could not take watching the events of what’s currently going on. He didn’t understand how I have been able to keep myself tuned in, daily. I think that the same feelings that called me to be a Social Worker, in my very close past time, continues to speak to me everyday. Being a person whom helps those in need, an advocator, when someone needs an ear to just listen, a hug to calm them, words of understanding/support, or if a friend needs a body to sit there with them silently to take space and cry along with them, that is whom I pride myself in being. There are not many people that can say that they are courageous enough to speak up and speak out the way that I do. It is unique and because I am very aware of this gift, I will never take it for granted. I will never be silenced until the day that I am dead. And until then, whenever I am called to show up for those in need, that’s what I will continue to do. Whoever and whatever that looks like, I will always speak out against injustices. #FreePalestine

In other news…..(Spoiler Alert)

I wanted to give a quick review of this hot-ass mess of a season. Only two couples made it to the alter this season which is a first and the drama amongst them all was very cringe-worthy. Big Ups to this season winners, Milton & Lydia. Although Lydia seems to posses no capability of reading a room and knowing when to stop talking, they did seem like a pretty genuine match. Although I have seen some takes that Lydia would’ve married anyone, LOL, I’ve witnessed for myself some of the magic that this couple experienced which would make them fall hard for one another. From what I have seen on LIB season 5, I love the type of man that Milton prides himself to be. He seems to be someone whom thinks things fully through and can remain level-headed, he is able to stay calm when faced with drama, and knows how to carry himself as a supportive and loving partner. It’s the Libra in him that I see so much of in my own husband. I truly do hope that Lydia, whom seems to be portrayed as a somewhat hot-headed lover whom stands very hard on who she is and what she represents, can learn a lot from her husband when it comes to being more insightful.

Now Uche, whom seemed to be this seasons villain, gave me some of the most cringe moments of the season. Between him going off on Aaliyah and bashing her as a “cheater” after she told her truths to him about what she had done in her past relationship, him exposing Lydia to be a “stalker”, and him getting in an argument with another women contestant where he suggested she had no job and was only here for the fame; he was definitely not in any running to be a person that I enjoyed watching at all. I actually think that him along with a handful of the other contestants need to work on themselves and their own demons, before they join a dating show to find love. I found myself seeing so much cruelty, not only from Uche but both Stacy & Izzy as well regarding their takes on Johnnie. Hurt people, hurt people and that’s what this season was giving for sure.

JP & Taylor, where do I begin? JP gets the award for “Cringe Master” on LIB season 5. I cannot even stand to believe the way he acted towards Taylor, because he did not like the fact that she was “caked up” and wearing makeup upon their first reveal. He was so turned off by their first meeting, that he then went on to act like a mime for the rest of the time that they were on the show. Listen, I get it. I hear all the time how men prefer women without makeup. But hear me out on this, once the makeup is off then all is well right? Even after Taylor did not wear makeup again, he still couldn’t get himself to act like a human being and engage with her. During the reunion, Taylor said that the song that would best describe their relationship at the time was “Silent Night”, LOL. JP is yet another example of a person whom lacks self-awareness and healthy communication, and should focus on getting the help he needs to learn how to speak up. I cant believe that Taylor was even stuck in a situation like that with someone whom judged her so hard for how she looked, when he literally came on a show to blindly fall in love and he’s not even all that to begin with. And also, if a man tells you that he doesn’t want you wearing makeup, that’s a red flag for me. You can tell me what you don’t like but that doesn’t take away from the person that I am and what I want to do. I’m so glad she ended that relationship in Mexico where it needed to end. A HUGE clap for Taylor showing self love.

Furry Friends of the week

EXCITINGGGGGGGG weekend moment with my two cats whom, yes, are named after Seinfeld characters (if you know you know). My husband and I had finally committed to buying them harnesses so that they could get a taste of the great outdoors. They are indoor cats and will always be indoor cats, so we have found it quite necessary that they get the opportunity to experience nature as they would if they were not domesticated (in a feasible way). The cat rule for harnessing your cat is to start them as kittens so that they get use to the feel of wearing one. This is not an automatic for cats, the way it may work for a dog, as cats are not animals that can easily be told what to do LOL. They are one year and seven months now and we have our fingers crossed that they are able to be successfully transitioned into this type of lifestyle.

We put the harnesses on them the night before so that they could get use to it. While Art transitioned quite quickly into having one on, Cosmo on the other hand had seemed to lose his normal capability of walking with his two back legs. He did not want to stand or be touched, he actually hid for the whole time he had his on. The next day, we took them out to our back yard and had an opposite effect of their behaviors from the night before. All that Art wanted to do was run and hide while Cosmo was ready and willing to explore the entire yard. We kept them engaged and praised them for their efforts with many cat treats. Art, whom is usually the adventurous troublemaker, did not seem quite interested at all with being outside even with his brother and Paw-ents right by his side. These things take time and we can only hope that with patience and consistency into this new transition, that they can learn to love being outside and benefit from the exercise that cats need just like anyone else.

I hope that if you’re reading this and have a cat, that you consider to try to get your cat that outdoor experience. Sitting at home everyday, looking at the same four walls day in and out, seems like a prison to me. It may not be how animals feel but I can only hope that this is something that will truly add to their quality of life <3.

To end off this weeks newsletter, I wanted to share some music that I have been listening to. Now I’m not saying that this is everyone’s cup of tea but I’ve been up to date with all the pop culture drama involving Bluefase, Chrisean, & Jaidyn (if you know you know and don’t judge me, we all have guilty pleasures). All I’m going to say is that Jaidyn dropped a catchy bop (is she truly an artist? that’s up to the listener). It’s definitely a banger in my household, for now. If you’re looking for a gym mood vibe (personally), feeling cute/sexy vibe, or just want to hear a cool flow with a good beat then check out “Jaiden Alexis - Barbie”. Don’t say you haven’t heard of “Milf Music” after that one.

Till next time with love, RidethaVibe with Dee ❤️