Junes thoughts

“The unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates

I’m sitting on the train, on my way to work on a bright and sunny Monday morning. My mind is full of reflective thoughts about how great life can be despite all the nonsensical bullshit. Here’s what I spent my June doing:

1. Attended a bus trip to D.C. to protest for Palestine - I joined a last-minute bus trip planned by a local organization for Palestine advocacy. Dressed in all red with fellow humans who were there for the same reason: representing Biden’s “Red Line.” We surrounded the White House with red tape (a 2+ mile-long line) and rallied through the streets. Biden has mentioned many times that “Israel has not crossed the red line yet,” with his red line determining when Israel has gone too far with their killing spree and mass destruction. The people united were the red line that day and will continue to be until the rest of the world realizes they’ve stood back and watched for too long and that another horrendous stain in history is currently being committed.

2. D.C. protest trip turned into a weekend getaway - When my coworkers in D.C. found out that I’d be in town for the day, they highly encouraged me to stay the weekend and spend time with them. I’m not as spontaneous as I used to be, but I’m working on it, so saying yes last minute to a weekend away from my bed was not easy. Amtrak = 1, Dania = -1. They say we’ll never be as young as we are right now and that life is too short. Sex and the City, Chick-fil-A, and a quick girls’ lunch in Maryland for the day made life feel complete. Reflecting on this well-rounded weekend where I was able to give back to the greater world and enjoy time with people I love: being a social justice warrior and allowing myself to enjoy life at the same time is possible.

3. Chris Brown concert - I opted out of buying tickets to see my favorite artist this year because my priorities are different now than they have been in the last 4-5 years, during which I haven’t missed a concert. I believe that since I’ve been working on being such an outstanding human this year 😃, God couldn’t let one of his faves sit out on meeting her favorite superstar. My cousin forgot that she had a trip planned before buying her tickets and when she asked if I’d be interested in going (for free), I couldn’t pass it up. Some of the best seats in the house and YES, I was at the show where he got stuck on stage and they brought the ladder. Chris Brown = -1, Dania = +1,111,111 (iykyk).

4. Charlotte, North Carolina girls’ trip - Annual Juneteenth girls’ trip #STAYBLACK. There’s nothing like a weekend away with your girls in a new city or country. Every time I take a trip with my girls, it further deepens our bond. The laughs, the love, the fun, and the vulnerability shared remind me every time of how easy it is to be loved for being exactly who I am. I feel safe, seen, and heard through our shared connection of being black women. After a weekend of long nights, high heels, dancing, and brunches, I feel renewed and inspired.

5. A day with my bestie and her newborn followed by a Palestine teach-in session - The magic I see in that little baby, the little piece of my friend that now exists in tiny human form, is heartwarming. The magic of participating in “tummy time” and the sounds of her trying to repeat the words her mother says to her with such love and admiration is beautiful. Although I am not ready for a child of my own, seeing the connection of love between my friend and her daughter reminds me of the beauty found in unconditional love. After some bonding time with baby girl, we headed over to a Palestine teach-in. A local café, The Warehouse Cafe, organizes DJ teach-in sessions where people can come to learn and bond together in the community about Palestinian history and the resistance. We met up with others that I know and were greeted by a young child who had created Palestine-themed material for attendees to color. I almost cried multiple times at the thought of this small child participating in such a pivotal and disheartening period of the life she’s hardly begun. I thought of the woman she would grow up to be, just like my friend’s daughter, they are the hopes of a better future. It’s possible, I think to myself as I sit in a room full of people who have come to gather to exist in the resistance and struggle of the people. My poetry came up at some point when my friend asked if I had ever written a poem about Palestine. I was stuck because, of course, it had crossed my mind, but I personally felt that because this was not my personal struggle and because I am not Palestinian, it had not felt appropriate to write a poem. I told her this along with the sentiment that I could have written something about my feelings of grief or sadness, something. And then I sat there, continuing to question myself about why I had taken so long.

A dark fall, winter, spring, and summer.

We’re still here?

How can I still exist through all this never-ending grief?

I thought for sure that I’d die from heartache.

I thought for sure that by the winter,

after all the countless days I’ve spent crying,

watching hundreds of videos of slaughter and dying,

protesting through the city streets and through the parks on Bryant,

detaching from soulless holidays and hibernating in painful silence,

arising in the spring to blood showers and massacres.

Football and human disaster,

Basketball and human disaster,

Taylor Swift and human disaster,

The Met Gala and human disaster,

Rap beef and human disaster,

How am I still here?

How can I still be bearing witness?

And as the heat and temperature rise,

so does the death toll.

The mothers, fathers, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, doctors, nurses, engineers, teachers, aid workers, electricians.

People just like me,

they were everything to somebody.

But also, they mean absolutely nothing to somebody.

But not to me.

I bear witness,

I grieve,

I teach,

I love,

I find community,

I share,

I take action,

I reflect,

I’m still here.

So I will hold all of the space that I can to be intentional,

in a world that forces me to bear witness to its evil sins.

- Dania Mc.

“We need recovery periods. They create the space and pace for necessary healing. I find that when I am resisting the global recovery we are living in, I feel defeated. I feel like something is wrong. When I allow myself to be in recovery and am okay with feeling different and needing different tools and maps to move forward, I find a little peace even in my discomfort.” - Cleo Wade, excerpt from “Remember Love”.

As always, till next time with love. RidethaVibe with Dee ❤️