Spring Equinox

Happiest Spring 🙂

As we’ve officially ended Pisces season, I feel a bit somber. What a month of emotion, growth, reflection, celebration of life; and also a time of lessons learned. In the many yoga classes I’ve taken this week, one message came through clearly: bloom in the dark and the light, like the lotus that grows through the mud. This is the time to prepare for awakenings and transitions.

In the class I taught this past week, the theme was non-attachment. Can we only feel happy and peaceful when things are going our way, when we can control them, or do we otherwise succumb to everlasting suffering? These are the thoughts that have stayed with me as I step into this new season. I’ve traveled through multiple seasons that didn’t give me the space to even begin exploring the present moment more deeply, without feeling the need to jump to the next thing.

It feels like I’m being called to explore my current gifts and make space for what they can become, even when they don’t look the way I thought they would, and without comparing myself to anyone else on their own unique journey. It’s time for spring cleaning in a literal sense; taking inventory of what happiness really is, and how I can remain present in it, even when things aren’t the way I want them to be.

I’ll be sharing a poem I wrote after a long period of writer’s block. This new season has inspired me to take micro steps toward the things that bring me joy; instead of believing everything has to be grandiose or rushed to get to the next thing. I’m learning to take my time, to stay as present as possible; so it doesn’t slip by me, so I don’t end up regretting, so I don’t miss the chance to simply breathe.

I’m also exploring moving this newsletter over to Substack. If you’ve been keeping up with me, it will soon be blooming onto a new platform, with the hope that more people can connect with my content.

Thank you all for your support, and enjoy.

I’ve been looking for a spark. 

I thought it’d come after walking through the park.

I thought it’d come after my birthday.

I thought It’d come before or after my graduation.

I thought it’d come after seeing the most beautiful sunrise and sunset.

I thought it’d come after watching the birds sit upon my window sill.

I thought it’d come after I was sad about life’s woes.

I thought it’d come after classes of yoga.

I thought it'd come during or after travel.

I thought It’d come after I wrote a journal entry.

I thought it’d come find me late at night, maybe after a shower.

I thought I’d finally feel this feeling. 

That feeling that says:

“I’m here. I’m ready. Share me with the world” 

I remember when it almost felt like I could write a million poems a day.

Mostly about my woes and mistakes.

I remember telling a friend, “I’m only inspired when I’m sad”

But when I’m happy, I’m always looking for that spark. 

That re-ignition, the yearn that I need the world to hear.

Those heart emotions that I’ve finally fit into a story.

The right time, the right place, the right project, the right idea, something different.

The more I wait for this spark,

Time passes me.

The inspiration constant, seeking to be turned into a painting of words. 

The short literatures and daily reminders that it could all be so simple.

If I could just stop overthinking.

If I could just let the perfectionism go.

If I could just stop looking and constantly waiting for something that is in me every single time my eyes open up on this beautiful and mystical creation, earth. 

I’m waiting for something that time and time again,

I am reminded is already in me and makes me unique in the person that I am.

That light, that guiding voice, that guiding energy, the all seeing, and knowing.

So’ham: I am that. I am one with the universe.

Waiting for something that I was divinely born with.

A spark that can only be lit the moment action and friction light the match.

The silent fires that burn in the forest when no one is around or watching.

The idea that I am waiting for me to feel something that I already have.

Am I waiting for the spark or am I walking in fear ? 

As always, till next time with love. RidethaVibe with Dee ❤️